Alien Invasion

1.-The Invasion

The Red Martians had been preparing for some time for final launch. Their technology level was at using fission rockets which meant a one-way trip mostly, unless they could find fissionable materials on the invaded planet, enough to power them back to their home planet if they so desired. But that was a long way away in the future. The invasion fleet would have to subjugate the native populations, eradicate the dominant species on the planet and then with or without using collaborators find out and mine sufficient fissionable materials to enable the fleet to go back and bring the second wave. For this was just the first wave, half the population of mars, the strongest most warlike population to be sure and the most virile to go and not only colonize the blue planet quickly but to multiply in its slightly heavier oxygen atmosphere that no other neighbouring planetary species in the solar system would dare to invade the third planet once the red Martians had obtained a solid foothold on it. The red Martians had prepared long and carefully for this invasion, it had taken decades of their life ever since the stupid earthlings had started broadcasting into space that their planet was capable of supporting life. The Martians couldn’t believe it at first. Was this all a ruse? If so for what purpose? Were the earthlings so starved of nutrition that they were willing to attract other planetary species to their home world to feed on them? None of it made sense. Even their best scientific minds couldn’t understand why the earthlings were broadcasting so many signals into space. It was unprecedented in the Martians millennium of existence and induced acute anxiety in their leaders. Ever since the dawn of life in the nine planet solar system, none of the populated planets, neither Venus, nor Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus or Neptune had ever broadcast into space that “Hey, here are life giving planets and we have evolved life here, you are welcome to come here and take it”. None, but the stupid earthlings had done so. Signalled to the entire universe that there were life supporting planets in the 9-planet solar system capable of providing organic nutrients. It was either stupidity of the highest order or sheer recklessness on the part of the blue planetary species to endanger life in the entire known solar system. Every other species had hunkered down into the deep dark soil of its planet projecting a complete lack of life to every explorer and invader (mostly the same thing), once it was capable of space flight and had communicated with the nearest planetary lifeforms and had learned the truth of the universe. That the universe was a whole lot of scary species always looking for new planets to colonize and species to devour for their organic contents was a universal truth known to every species on every planet on every star and galaxy. Everyone realized this truth to be self-evident once they started lifting off from their planet’s gravity well. Except the earthlings. They were a whole lot of stupid apparently. Not only had they continued to broadcast their location to the wide universe but also had sent probes outside the limits of the solar system with information leading straight back to the nine planets. This was a genocidal war crime on a solar system level and the blue planet earthlings had to be punished for it and stopped before they did further damage to the rest of the species. The Jovian’s and Neptunian’s had proposed an asteroid strike to obliterate the third planet and silence those voices seeking to expose them all. But the red Martians had proposed an alternate- a planetary invasion to eradicate the loathsome bipedal species which was even now launching chemical rockets into deep space with long plume signatures capable of being traced back to source. It not only helped that they were the nearest planet to the earth, but also capable of surviving in the open on the slightly more oxygen rich atmosphere of earth, which the Venusians can never do and finally to add icing to the cake the Martians could use their feeding appendages directly on the earth species which conveniently carried a nutrient fluid in their bodies, a red fluid which could be fed on and absorbed directly by the Martians for their organic nutrients. The Martians had been taking off a few earth species for decades and studying them for absorption of their nutrient fluids and had found that the earthlings were not only compatible with the Martian diet but also provided a rich source of all the other minerals needed along with the organics. Hence the fleet was got ready to invade the earth and save the solar system by silencing once and for all those pestilent squealers threatening all nine planetary species.

2– The Aftermath

When the first Martian saucers landed it was near to the great urban settlements intentionally. The Martians had planned and prepared for the initial resistance to be stiff, even with the primitive kinetic weapons of the earthling’s and the Martian ground assault tripods had their armour specially strengthened to deflect kinetic weapons. The saucers landed and disgorged the tripods on a fine sunny day and the Martians rambled into the vast urban conglomerations the native earthlings called cities. They were prepared to encounter shock and distress and panic from the native population as even the few earthlings they had encountered previously on scouting trips had panicked at the sign of the Martians and had died on the spot with stoppage of their hearts suddenly.  But strange to say this time there was no panic, no shock, no fleeing groups of bipeds. The earthlings had all seemed to be hunkered down in their dwellings already as if they had advance intelligence of the Martian invasion. Nothing made sense to the Martians as their tripods roamed around the empty streets of the earthlings. The Martian commander then made the courageous decision to go into the dwellings of these creatures and hunt them out from wherever they were hiding. The order was transmitted and the Martian invasion force exited the safety of their assault vehicles and landers for the first time on the blue planet. They started a cordon search and sector by sector they went inside the earthling’s dwellings where to their great surprise they found the earthlings hunkered down individually. They were dragged out, assembled and devoured as when the Martians needed organic nutrition. After two days of frenzied feeding on the earthling liquids, none of the soldiers reported any adverse reaction, so the main body of the invasion force, the civilians and administrators were disembarked from the colony ships and mass feeding on the earthlings started. It was on the third day that the disease began. It started with a fluid flow in the Martians appendages which believe me, when you have eight of them is a real danger to health. This was followed by sense of breathlessness despite the rich oxygen laden atmosphere of earth which was better than mars by many degrees. The ancient and wisest advisors started toppling first unable to breathe and pretty soon the rest of the invasion force was on its back merely struggling to take a single breath. Even the use of respirators inside the Martian landers offered no respite as they seem to have been contaminated too. The Martians suspected an unknown earth disease and decided to try out their experimental translator technology. One of the captured bipeds was brought in and shown the dying Martians and asked why? He answered, as translated as best as the machine could, in a single word-corona. The Martian commanders, those still left alive, decided to withdraw from the planet and ordered their people back on the saucers but sadly none survived the journey back and the mystery of the great Martian invasion to earth remained a warning sign to all the rest of the nine planets. Thereafter the third planet, the blue planet was designated a dangerous planet, a quarantined zone capable of killing any life which landed there. What the earthlings did or how they survived these diseases became the stuff of legends on other planets and taught to the younglings. Many of their younger warriors on Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Neptune were challenged – if you want to show you are a great warrior visit the third planet earth and take a breath there. But sadly, none had the courage to do so and earth was left alone forever by the entire universe.

-The end –

Dedicated to H.G.Wells and his iconic science fiction thriller – War of the Worlds.

The October Revolution(s)

The October Revolution(s)

The road to hell is paved with good intentions and it behooves us on certain anniversaries to reflect how that innocuous path taken in the beginning led right to the sulfurous pits of fire. And no I am not referring to the recent history of demonetization and its appalling aftermath. I am jogging your memory back to a similar economic terrorism let loose on an unsuspecting population based on the noble ideals of social equity and punishing corruption.

A hundred years ago, back in 1917, there was a large country, riven with rifts between the devastatingly poverty ridden majority populace who lived hand to mouth existence as serfs and the fat cats who ruled over them by colluding with those in power, all of which was centered around a single family rule. Sounds bizarrely similar to current India and a certain congress party? No, I am talking about imperial Russia and the ruling tsar family. There was even a secret advisor who had the ear of the empress like a certain pc of the UPA government who was widely blamed for all the illogic laws affecting the poor populace and whose ill-intentioned advice was responsible for the majority of the anti-people edicts which so poisoned the serfs and peasants against the then ruling government of the tsar.

History, shows again and again that rulers who listen to the backroom boys with no ear to the ground among the people are the ones who end up with all the opprobrium and hate of the people while the backroom manipulators escape with their reputation’s untarnished to serve another set of rulers again. Meanwhile the long suffering poor and downtrodden looked out for a messiah, even if he appears to be a snake-oil specialist to all un-blinkered realists and a charismatic demagogue appeared on the horizon – someone who promised to end the single family rule and put the fat cat capitalists in jail. The October revolution happened and blood flowed all over Russia. The imperial family was decimated, those close to the tsar were hounded out of Russia and all looked rosy.

But. As a corollary to the main show of political freedom, the new rulers of Russia, Lenin and his thug, Stalin, a backroom manipulator of the party, who together ruled over the government and the party decided they needed a grand economic narrative, something to change the course of history and etch their names in gold for posterity. So despite the best advices from a host of economic experts, the two not-so-wise men of Russia decided to implement socialism in one stroke, overnight. Eliminate private property by converting it all into public property and hence destroying the ill-gotten gains of the corrupt with one surgical strike. Anyone who protested the illogicity of such drastic action and its obvious effect on the economy were labelled anti-nationals and either shot or sent into re-education camps in Siberia, something which has thankfully not happened over here.

The move to destroy all property ownership was received with acclaim by the poor and downtrodden as they were happy (vicariously) to see the rich suffer the same fate as themselves, much similar to a hundred years later when everyone was happy about their neighbors and dog queuing up outside the atm’s to receive two, two thousand rupee notes a day from the ration shop turned ATM’s. But such vicarious pleasure at the sufferings of others only offers temporary gratification and does not feed the belly. The economy took a nose dive and crash landed so badly that the starving masses instead of getting their bellies filled just had new competition for scarce resources in the form of the newly poor and desperate. These were mostly the middle class and the intellectuals who were treated with contempt and anathema by the illiterate thugs now in power and who had always harbored a secret envy of the educated middle class who had till then somehow managed to just about stay above the poverty line.

And as a corollary, the uber-rich managed to flee the country with their ill-gotten gains, courtesy the corrupt amongst the new ruling dispensation to safe havens in Great Britain aka how Vijay Mallaya and Lalit Modi fled a 100 years later.  The thugs of the ruling party, local commissars who let their petty power go their heads, stifled dissent in the name of patriotism, destroyed all individual initiative in the name of progress and instituted a widespread surveillance system to root out those desperate enough to speak the truth and all this in the name of doing good to the country.

And Russia instead of getting the change they hoped for, went into the dark ages for a hundred years with countless millions dying of food shortages and official apathy while the rulers celebrated each anniversary with pomp and pageantry and self-pats on the backs for achieving equality and egalitarianism. The economic experts re-wrote fudged data numbers showing bountiful harvests even as millions were slowly starving. The newspapers , the paid media of those times, reported the obviously false data as verified news and sang paeans to the rulers and everything looked hunky-dory till it all came crashing down almost overnight and all the lies were exposed for what they were, mere self-delusion.

The October Revolution of 1917 has now been universally condemned by history as a colossal failure led by megalomaniacal rulers who brooked no dissent in their belief in their own infallibility. History has a way of surprising us when it repeats itself, first as a tragedy and subsequently as a farce. To conclude, I can only repeat the cliché that those who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it. Unfortunately we didn’t and we did. I rest.

On Why I Am A Climate Skeptic Despite Being A Pseudo-Intellectual.

On Why I Am A Climate Skeptic Despite Being A Pseudo-Intellectual.

The burden of being a public intellectual, or at least an aspiring one, is that one is expected to have an opinion on everything under the sun. At times this is easy. For example if asked about my opinion on popular Indian writers or at least  the over rated ones I would have no hesitation in picking up on the grand-dame of self-delusion and the harridan of uncertain prose-Ms. Arundathi Roy whose only claim to fame is the shrill vehemence in which she complains against everything so much so that I fear that she has internalized the title of her own work “In which Annie gives it to those ones” by turning into “In which Arundathi gives it to everyone almost gleefully”.

I could also show off my sly nature with a tribute to the granddaddy of self-publishing – Mr. David Davidar whose book was self-published by his own firm Penguin where he was the chief editor. This was a fortunate occurrence for David Davidar for that book- the house of blue mangoes, reminded uncannily everyone (else) who read it of a previous and well accepted novel with a similar title leading to loud whispers of plagiarism and would have damaged irretrievably the reputation of anyone else who had done the same except that David Davidar was not only promoted, he was given the prestigious on-site offer of penguin Canada editor-in-head. Of such strange quirks are the publishing world made.

Now to stretch the analogy a bit further and prove my snobbish intellectual side I would have to be suitably dismissive of minor Indian writers of uncertain provenance who sell a few thousand soft copies to their Facebook and Instagram followers based on their networking skills on social media (and their attractive dp’s)- people like Preeti Shenoy, amish etc. but I would rather not waste time trashing their books as fluff when everyone else on Quora seem to be doing the same. I would rather tread a different path to burnish my credentials as an intellectual by taking on bigger issues- something like climate change for instance.

Now for the entire week gone past there was a lot of breast beating over the American president trump pulling out of the Paris climate accords. Everyone but everyone including me had an opinion on his act and its aftermath. Although I put up an instant Facebook post, I found it difficult to encapsulate my ideas on such a small platform as Facebook and hence this more explanative blog post. The main fallacy of people with knee jerk reactions and opinions on everything – and here I am talking about the entire Facebook generation- is that they don’t have the intellectual capacity or even the rigor of hard work to read up and analyze anything in depth before positing an opinion. Ask anyone whether the Paris accord was good or bad, they will invariably reply as good. But just ask them what was in the nitty-gritty, the fine details of the Paris accord which made it so good and watch them despair and log out of the internet.

Anyway, I consider the Paris accord as one more con job perpetrated by Trans-national companies on an unsuspecting world population. Their idea of reducing harmful carbon emissions which were increasing the earth’s temperature was to offer carbon credits and offsets to be bought by less polluting countries aka less developed countries and to be traded to more polluting well-developed countries which could use those credits to keep their current levels of emission at status-quo. Now tell me what’s so advantageous about this? To the poor countries which don’t have any emissions? To the rich countries who have to pay through their noses for these trade offsets? And to the earth’s climate in general with the maintainability of current emission levels? I can’t see anyone else benefitting except the middle men who will trade on these carbon credits. So President Trump might have ended up doing the right thing for the wrong reasons- at least let’s give him credit for that.

Now if you ask me about climate change, as an intellectual with a public profile to protect, I would have to say that I am extremely climate-skeptic. I will not dispute the current methodology of working out the heat increase of the planet plotted against the emission levels. But I would argue that the entire science behind the methodology is wrong as is so often seen with respect to long held scientific dogmas based on an initial questionable data collection. The climate change lobby and the earth is in peril give me more money lobby might not agree with me but I consider that our current models of predicting or even studying climate change is flawed because we have so little idea of what sustains our current climate at its level and what the future will hold if emissions continue to rise and the planets core temperature arises by a few more degrees.

Will the earth be able to autocorrect by ushering in another ice age in response to increased temperatures? Will the weather become capricious and unpredictable based on current weather prediction models? Will we be in another era of widespread flooding caused by rising sea levels? Will plants thrive on more heat and better cloud cover- a hot house temperature effect? Will they be releasing more and more oxygen after flourishing in the abundant carbon dioxide levels and in effect changing our planet’s atmosphere into a super oxygenated world? No one has any answers to these and other critical questions on climate change. What we have are beliefs in dogmas and a rigidity in those belief’s which preclude any other point of view contrary.

If at all we are serious about reducing the impact of emissions on our planet the way to go forward is pretty much blindingly obvious to everyone of even average intelligence- to end our dependence on fossil fuels. To stop digging for coal -coal mining/strip mining is one of the biggest eyesores on the earth’s surface. To stop drilling for oil and automatically avoid and undermine all the current religious wars based on abundant oil money financing. To get over the entire damage caused by two hundred years of internal combustion engines which burn parts of the planets dead past aka fossil fuels and just jump into using clean and green fuels- a hydrogen engine’s emission is water vapor for instance, yes pure h2o. Solar, wind, ocean current- there are a whole lot of alternate energy sources available to produce the electric fuel cells necessary for clean energy with zero emissions. And finally to get over our irrational fears of anything nuclear and move on into using nuclear fusion- the cleanest form of energy and used by our sun for instance, to produce everything we use including solar energy. A dyson construct which directly taps into the solar energy near the sun and feeds it to the planet via mirrors might be the stuff of science fiction right now, but so were mobile phones and airplanes at one time. So the future of emission control should be less of control and more of eliminating the necessity of emissions.

And finally to point out the planet Venus as the end effort of climate change and increased emission levels is intellectual dishonesty- for the Venus effect was not caused by venusians or their factories emitting greenhouse gases. What caused it was a giant planet sized object- an asteroid smashing into Venus- boiling off its oceans instantaneously, stopping its rotation, making it lose its magnetosphere and the ability to have and retain an atmosphere which will protect against sun flares and cosmic particles. Now when was the last time you heard one of these green warriors talk about extra-planet sources of danger to the earth and its atmosphere, including climate? When will they learn to stop blaming humanity for all the ills of the planet and take a more broad based view on the dangers affecting humanity as a whole?

I have, as a responsible intellectual ( and to burnish my credentials as one) taken a more broad based view on the dangers affecting humanity which no one else seems to care about, consumed as they are in the nitty gritty of working out carbon offsets and who gets to profit out of which greenhouse gas. If the whole of humanity decides to take a similar broad based view on the fate of the planet then I would say good riddance to the Paris accord and you are welcome Mr. Trump. And if after reading this entire blog post you are still not convinced of my intellectual heft, well, wait till you read my book on this. And, oh yeah, I too can/will put up sexy DP’s to sell my book, so there, you are warned.

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