Angry Birds Who Shit On Me.


Angry Birds Who Shit On Me.

I recently celebrated yet another birthday and as usual it was time to reflect again on certain aspects of my life which I feel the need to improve on at least in the next year. One area which I definitely have to work on is in my attitude to relationships. Being single at the end of one more year, I couldn’t help but deeply ponder on my relationships lakshman rekha- the very bright red lines which cause me to opt out of any relationship. The absolute be-all and end-all relationships killers. And in the top of my list was anger.

Believe me I get that anger is a very human emotion and everyone gets angry at one time or the other. Even I get angry maybe once in three years or so (don’t believe me? ask my mother who will certify the last time she saw me angry a few years ago). Not getting angry or reacting in anger is a major plus in my work as a government doctor as there are umpteen number of patients and situations everyday which tend to provoke people with less control of their temper to say or do something hasty and nasty. But I always remember that these patients are in trouble, severe pain, and it’s not right to get angry against them when they can’t help it.

This very attitude from my professional life is what I unfortunately tend to carry over to my personal life. I give allowance, great allowances to the moods of others and tend to look at things from their point of view, thereby making myself the butt of unjustified anger which I never deserve. Somehow, I don’t know how, I always end up attracting people opposite to me in temperament, the angry birds, who are always going around with feathers ruffled trying to peck anyone who is stupid enough to fall for them.

Being in a relationship, especially being the sane person in a relationship, the calm person, the mature person in the relationship does not earn me any kudos, instead it gets me un-ending abuse in the guise of “just venting off steam”. I, on the other hand, (unfortunately) am wise enough not to vent off steam undeservedly at my loved ones, I vent off where necessary and not at innocent souls who can’t even comprehend what they did to deserve this stream of abuse.

And I just can’t agree that people get angry at others and spout rubbish because they are short tempered. Have you ever seen any short tempered person scream in school at their head master? Or at work at their boss? I too, haven’t. Even those who confess to being short tempered are prepared to hold their tongues in the office against a boss for whom they might or might not work within the next few months. If they are prepared to bite back the angry retorts and abuse for something as transitory as a job where you spend a few hours a day what prevents you from doing the same with someone you want to spend a lifetime with?

The license to get angry and vent off for unrelated stresses and tensions works both ways doesn’t it? What/how would it look if I did the same? Not that I am capable of doing that, but still for the sake of argument just imagine me screaming and ranting and “just” letting off steam. And that’s why anger and short temper continue to remain my lakshman rekha, the line that thou should not cross. But being the floor mat that I am (prepared to let another person walk all over me) I still allow the same number of strikes Krishna gave to sisupala- abuse me a 100 times and I shall bear it, the 101st time I walk out without looking back.

Now I know that you will be thinking what if I deserved it? Well, let me tell you that if I really deserved it, I would stand there and take my punishment like a man. It’s just the underserved abuse coming from temper tantrums I am in no way responsible for that I totally abhor and will walk out off. Fair warning, if you are in a relationship with me and if you are going to get angry, go punch a wall, go scream alone, go work it out of your system somehow, never ever try to ram it down my throat. I don’t deserve abuse. I don’t like short tempered people. And I absolutely abhor angry people. I would rather spend all my life alone than be in any kind of relationship with someone who gets angry at me for no fault of mine or is generally short tempered. Its time I get stopped getting shit on by angry birds who cant find anyone else to take their shit.

So to end this- short tempered people, angry people- go see a shrink, just don’t come near me. For me a peaceful life is a happy life. A life where no one raises their voice at the other is my idea of a perfect relationship. Disagreements should be talked over, preferably over a cup of coffee like mature adults and not screamed at. Don’t agree, just take a walk or I will and never look back. And this has been my credo for all these years and that why I am still single and can’t find a girl who is not short tempered and who will not shout at me. Know anyone like that?

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KALI KALAM- When Kali Plays Havoc -A Short Play.


KALI KALAM- When Kali Plays Havoc -A Short Play.

kali-kalam

Act 1- At A Betrothal Function

Act 1- Scene 1

Mr.Ramanujam’s house- 7Pm in the evening. There are lots of guests seated about and loud conversations going on between them.

Mr.Kumar : I say Mr. Ramanujam this engagement function you have arranged today was even grander than what we expected. All we were looking for was a simple ceremony for a small group of relatives.

Mr.Ramanujam: Oh don’t say like that Kumar sir, or should I call you sambandhi sir now that the engagement is over? Anyway we are all pleased to have such an alliance like yours for our daughter and we just coudnt help not informing all our relatives of our good fortune. Otherwise they might not even talk to us in the future.

(Loud chorus of voices saying; yes, yes, that’s true, we wouldn’t have, this is the right thing)

Mr.Kumar: Well let me not be the reason for such a rift among close relatives. We are simple people Mr.Ramanujam and we believe that simple ceremonies are better when it comes to important things like the future of our children together rather than being ostentatious and inviting envy. That’s the only reason why I asked you to arrange a small betrothal ceremony at your house rather than hold it in some fancy hotel in a gaudy way.

Mr.Ramanujam: I appreciate that sentiment wholeheartedly sambandhi sir. You have proved yourself a genuine person by even refusing any dowry or any other expectations. The least we could do from the girls’ side is to celebrate this marriage in a way it will never be forgotten by our families. Our children definitely deserve that for agreeing to an arranged marriage in this day and age when everywhere we look young people are doing all sorts of low hand things in the name relationships- love, living together and all that sort of trash. I don’t know where this world is going to end up if such things persist in the name of modernity- kali kalam, kali kalam.

Mr.Kumar: Very true sambandhi. Very true. That is why the city was almost drowned in the floods last year. Even Lord Varuna couldn’t bear the things these modern day girls are doing in the name of feminism, women’s rights etc. I wonder how the parents of these girls are able to face their neighbors. In our days the entire locality would have boycotted the family if a girl had behaved like they do now. But let’s leave that aside. We are fortunate to have found such a girl like yours and such a family like yours in this day and age- a pure unspoilt, fully traditional girl who listens to her parents and marries their choice. We are truly blessed to have such a girl come to us as a daughter-in-law. We should visit Tirumala soon and offer our worship to Lord Venkateswara for bringing our two families together like this- as soon as we print the first invitation to lay at the lords’ lotus feet. What say you sambandhi?

Mr.Ramanujam: Very good sambandhi, very good, all credit to the Good Lord Of The Seven Hills who helped bring our two families closer. But one small request from our side.

Mr.Kumar (still in a jolly mood): Of course sambandhi. Do you even need to ask like this? What is it?

Mr.Ramanujam: It’s just that ….ummmph…now that the engagement is over…my daughter feels that woudnt it be better to have the wedding after a few months gap? Just to let the young people get to know each other better? Rather than rushing into it?

(The first sounds of jarring disquiet appear on the faces of both happy parties)

Mr.Kumar: but, but how long can we postpone the wedding after the engagement? Won’t people talk? It doesn’t seem proper for traditional families like us to keep pushing off the wedding date. Besides what need is there for the two to get to know each other at this late stage? Didn’t they already talk when we came to see the girl last week?

Mr.Ramanujam: But that was only for a few minutes, my daughter feels. She wants to get to know your sons likes and dislikes better to enable her to be a better wife to your son from day one. That’s the only reason she wants a little time between the betrothal and the wedding.

Mr.Kumar:  : Oh we are a traditional family but we are not such a strict family like that. Your daughter need not worry about something like that. Let her take her own time to adjust to our family –we won’t mind. Besides she has got the rest of her life to learn about our sons likes and dislikes hasn’t she? Why should we postpone the wedding for such a trivial reason?.

Mr.Ramanujam: I am truly truly sorry to say this Sambandhi. But my daughter insists that we hold the wedding after at least six months. That would help her get prepared for the wedding in the proper frame of mind and to know your son better.

Mr.Kumar: hmmmph…I say Mr.Ramanujam, it would have been better to have told us this condition of your daughters before the engagement ceremony got over. Now we are left with no choice but to fall in with you.

Mr.Ramanujam: But nothing’s changed sambandhi, nothing changes, just that we need some more time to conduct the wedding in a grand manner. We are still very happy to have an alliance with such a traditional family like yours and such a wel respected one too.

Mr.Kumar: I don’t know Mr. Ramanujam we somehow feel this is the wrong decision on your part. We should guide our children when they make mistakes and not encourage them. Look at my son here- he will tie the mangalasutra whenever wherever I direct him to. Girls should not be allowed their whims and fancies and to dictate terms like this when it comes to auspicious events like weddings. But what to do at this late stage. We are helpless. Come – all of you (to his assembled friends and relatives) it’s time to leave, we have intruded on their hospitality too much.

(And as the grooms family leaves in a huff- the varied crowd behind – especially the two old grandmothers on either side murmur softly: bad decision, bad decision, nothing good is going to come out of this, postponing the wedding to a girls whims, we never got to know each other before we married aren’t we still living together?….(the noise fades slowly in the background.)

Act 2 –Later That Night.

ACT 2- Scene 1 – at Mr. Kumars house.

Mr.Kumars Son – The Bridegroom Ashwin Kumar- I think this is a blessing in disguise appa. This gives us time to study the girl too. In fact we can wait and see whether she really resigns her job as she promised to do when we went to see her. I really don’t think an Ad Agency is a decent place for a decent lady to work. But as her father said it was just a hobby for time pass she was working I let it go. Let me use this time to get to know her well and we can take a final call later.

ACT 2- Scene 2 – at Mr. Ramanujans house

Mr.Ramanujans Daughter –The Bride Arundathi Ramanujam : Thank god that you stood by your word daddy. I was afraid you might give in easily. Now that we have postponed the marriage let me talk to that boy and then see if he really is like what he said he was during the girl seeing ceremony. Lets keep the marriage as late as we can- that gives me more time to decide once and for all whether he will fit me or not.

(Again we hear the voices in the background – The Respective Grandmothers murmuring: dont know where this is going to end up but we suspect something bad. Dear God please put some sense into these people and make them fix the marriage immediately.)

Act 3 – Six Months Later.

ACT 3 – Scene 1 – At Mr. Kumars House.

Mr.Kumar – I cant believe it. Never thought they would do this. To ask us to postpone the marriage at this late stage when everything is ready, all our relatives invited and all the invitations mailed. It would be better to stop it once and for all then to keep postponing it to satisfy their whims and fancies.

Mr.Kumars Son – The Bridegroom Ashwin Kumar: i told you so dad, right from the beginning. I always knew that the excuse that girl used – to want to get to know me- was a complete pretext to do something like this. I suspect she planned this right from the beginning. Thats why she asked for time. Now that she has got what she planned for, she wants to keep us permanently on hold till she finsihes her project in the USA and comes back next year. Or if something goes wrong there she can hurry back here and pretend nothing ever happened. Do they take us for fools? To keep waiting eternally for that girl? As if there are no ther girls around?

Mr.Kumar : Yes, yes, they must think we are fools to wait around for another year for that girl to come back from her project. Let me talk to Mr.Ramanujam one last time and we will decide once and for all.

Mr.Kumars Son – The Bridegroom Ashwin Kumar:  Yes dad, talk to him and tell me what you decide. As if there are no other girls around willing to marry me. You tell me dad and i will get a dozen girls willing to marry me tomorrow. In fact there is one girl who works on my team, who is of our own caste but different gothra, everything. Mum has already seen her and likes her. You just tell me what those people say and we will decide once and  for all.

ACT 3 – Scene 2 – at Mr. Ramanujans house

Mr.Ramanujam: But what will our people say at our calling off the wedding at this late stage? Why coudnt you have told us earlier?

Mr.Ramanujans Daughter –The Bride Arundathi Ramanujam:  But i did tell you daddy and you woudnt hear me. You are always listening to that old foggy- grandmother who keeps predicting dire things if i dont marry immediately. I told you this was my ambition- to go on atleast one project abroad. When every dog and donkey in my company can go on an offsite project why cant i?  Let me finish the project and come back and marry someone. In fact i can even find good people from our caste their itself. So many of our people are working there and they will all be broad-minded too. In fact even in my team which is going with me there are so many saadhu paiyans who wont cross a line i draw instead of arguing with me like the maapillai you fixed for me. Good riddance to him and his family. Let him marry a village girl who stays home and cooks for him.

Mr.Ramanujam:  I cant take it that lightly. I am worried about what people will talk about us? You would have gone to America but we have to answer everyone from the apartment watchman to the vegetable seller as to why the wedding was stopped at this late stage.

 Mr.Ramanujans daughter –the bride Arundathi Ramanujam:  Oh Daddy, you can always lay the blame on that boy. Tell everyone that we found out his character was bad and he had connections with his female co-workers. That way we can keep the moral high ground and no one will blame us. They will beleive anything of boys nowadays.

(Again we hear the voices in the background – the respective grandmothers murmuring: this is what we warned against when we told to hold the wedding immediately after the engagement. Listen to us- listen to our voice of experience- we knew something like this will happen when two people are not definitely committed to each other but are left free to explore other options. Unless there is a sense of finality which the thali around the throat brings and people have that sense that their life is finished once and for all with the wedding- they will always think about other people. But once married they would have adjusted to anything, anyhow and probably lived and celebrated their Shastibhoorthi- the 60th wedding together. All kali kalam, kali kalam- who listens to old and wise people nowadays? Its all youngsters choices and family tragedies – and full regards to Kali.)

– The End-

 

 

Zen And The Art Of Suturing Life….


Zen And The Art Of Suturing Life….

Advanced-Suturing-

I spend a lot of my time suturing, a fact of my working life which i accept gracefully. The reason i say this is, most surgeons when they reach my age or level of experience hand over the suture needle to their assistants and leave the operation theatre to attend a case elsewhere. They consider their job done as soon as the last tissue has been cut and the bleeding stopped. But as someone who does cosmetic surgeries for a living I prefer to do my own suturing- not only because I believe l that I can do a better job than a newbie assistant- better in this instance being a stronger suture with less scarring, but also because as a conscientious surgeon it is my job to stay with my patient till the patient recovers completely.  And also because i love suturing- something which i have realized quite late in my life. Now the reason why i love to do surgical suturing- cause you wouldn’t catch me dead trying to darn my worn socks at home, is that the act of suturing, the kind of repetitive motion it involves gives us time for food for thought and teaches a lot of lessons. If you would also like to hear what my sutures tell me, do read on

  • The Straight Path Is Not Always The Best : For those who haven’t seen a suture needle- its shaped like a semi-circle. Unlike a regular needle where you go directly across the tear, with a suture needle you go in on one side, you go deep in following the path of the needle as it leads and come out on the other side. The circular shape guides you automatically in its path from one side to the other. Just like when you fret you are going nowhere with your life but going deeper and deeper into shit and ergo, you emerge out into the glorious sunshine just where you want to be, because life has taken you in the path of least resistance to where you belong. Of course it feel like you are lost when you were halfway down and you might start panicking but trust me if there is one thing the suture needle teaches you, its that what goes down curves up and comes back out, you just have to keep pushing it in with belief. Its that blind belief in a buried needle which you cannot see passing through the deep flesh but coming out at just the right spot at just the right time which leaves you with a sense of all’s well with the world if only you have enough faith to trust in yourself.

suture curve

  • Probing Bleeding Wounds Is A No-No: Whenever we suture we always, always leave a margin of healthy tissue between the cut edges- never ever we suture near the edge because, face it, its already traumatized tissue, why the heck would you wound it further by pushing a needle inside the bleeding wound margin? Similarly in life, sometimes you just have to step back a bit, bite your words and let things progress to a stage where its healthy enough to start bringing things together. Never try to join up or heal already traumatized wounds without giving sufficient time for them to stop bleeding on their own. Only healthy wounds can be sutured. Torn wounds? They will tear further if you use force, even if its from the best intentions.
  • Persistence Pays- The number of sutures matters. It isn’t enough to put a single suture in and say the wounds are sufficiently close together, let it heal by itself now. No way. It doesn’t work that way at all. There are umpteen number of times when even a best placed suture would unravel. There is strength in numbers – so suture and sutire and suture again till you feel there is enough strength in the sutures-collectively- to hold the two separated wounds together- however much the two wounds wish to pull away and maintain a distance between them. Persistence matters when it comes to healing rifts. The first attempt might not always be successful or enough- you have to stick with it till it holds together.

suture knot

 

  • Holding On Too Tight Vs Giving Enough Space- when you suture you have to pull the knot just right, too tight and you are going to strangulate the wounded tissue making it difficult to heal, too loose and they are going to stay apart and never have that close intimate touch required to join together, but just right and the two become one as if they were never apart. Which is a very apt description for giving space in relationships i think. Trying to hold on too tight to someone is the best way to make sure that they get repelled, a fact which is lost on too many people in relationships starting from parents, friends to spouses, everyone making the same mistake of trying to be too close without giving enough space for individuality.
  • A Time To Hold And A Time To Cut – The last and most important lesson suturing teaches you is when to let go. Some suure require to be cut off at 5 days, some at 7 days, the wisdom lying in knowing when to cut them off once they are no more relevant and to prevent further damage. A lot of times we hang into relationships merely because we are afraid to cut loose, even when we know its served its time afraid that cutting off might make it worse. Suturing teaches you to be brave and cut it off and face consequences. A mere thread is not going to hold anything indefinitely if the underlying wound has not healed properly and its better to cut it off cleanly and start afresh.

 

This Company Pays Well


This Company Pays Well

So my friend had recently recommended me to try a few dating apps as a way to improve my hit percentage. Although initially skeptical about finding someone trustworthy enough to date on such instant swipe sites- i decided to trust my friends sagacity as an expert user of these sites and decided to take a call after doing a real life experience. To try and get over my cynicism about online fraudsters and  go out on maybe one date and see how it goes from there. So i installed one of the most popular such apps on my phone and got an immediate hit on my profile for someone had taken a swipe right at me and then sent me a personal chat message which asked for my number. Which in my new spirit of credulity i enthusiastically shared with the unknown girl who had liked me enough to start chatting immediately- remember i told how new i was to this game? And then this happened.

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Yes, like you dear reader, I too was flustered and flabbergasted to say the least, when i realized the person above (in the screenshot) wasn’t joking but serious about offering me money for spending time in my company.  Although i take it as a compliment (i should, shouldn’t i ?) the implied meaning that i had been wasting my time talking to a pucca professional is what makes me repeat ad infinitum that unless and until you meet an online friend in person, you can never ever be sure that they are what they claim to be.  So am i validated or not? You tell me.

Strictly Tongue In Cheek


Strictly Tongue In Cheek

tongueincheek

Dear so and so, i am writing to you from Australia. I saw your profile on so-and-so matrimony website recently and i think you would fit my family and myself very well. I am currently working as a senior software engineer in a prestigious multinational company and now currently based on-site in Australia where i have applied for permanent residency. As i am very much particular in my career i want someone who will be home loving as a spouse and i think you have the right qualifications for it.  I have asked my parents back in India to get in touch with your parents and take this forward. If everything goes forward satisfactorily  then i will probably see you when i visit India for my annual vacation in December. I will be staying only three weeks in India so if our marriage gets arranged it has to happen within that time. Now if you agree to all my conditions and are ready to shift over to Australia by December  i think we can proceed further with this. Do mail me at the earliest as i have to finalize many things before my trip to India. Please revert at the earliest.

The Return Mail:

Dear so and so, thank you for expressing your interest after seeing my profile in the matrimony website. I am pleased that you would consider me as “fit”  for your family and then you- in that order. You know, even my local tailor who has been with me for a decade  finds it difficult to stitch me clothes with a proper fit- but you, from far away Australia, pronounce me as a perfect fit…if i weren’t rendered speechless right now i would go around screaming i am fit i am fit , i am fit and a girl from Australia has certified me so.  I am also very pleased that you recognize me as home loving and having the right qualifications, whatever they are, which you are looking forward to in a spouse. Seriously i don’t know what they are but i do agree that whatever they might be- i have them, i have them all, don’t i? I mean you wouldn’t be mailing me from Australia if i lacked even one or two of those sterling qualities you are looking forward to in a man, right? Anyway i have absolutely no qualms in quitting my current job immediately and getting ready for our wedding in the remaining few months till December (how will i get my trousseau ready? Will Rohit Bal be available at short notice or should i try Ralph Lauren or Issey Miyake? Should it be a tux or indian ethnic?). And finally about quitting my job and moving with you to Australia as a house husband- well i just go to a job not to be a burden to my parents, so if you are willing to take care of me financially for the rest of my life as you have written in the mail, i would be pleased to quit immediately and join you in Australia where i can take care of the family while you work in that big important job of yours. I am looking forward to meeting you in December and i think three weeks is more than enough to get married if i can only get a visa within that time to travel to Australia . So do look me up when you get to India in December and and we can take care of a few things in person. I am looking forward eagerly to it. Bye.

(Disclaimer- based on a true story but names/sources withheld for privacy reasons)

My Greatest Hits….Disastrous Proposals


My Greatest Hits….Disastrous Proposals

When I talk about my Greatest Hits, please hold on before you think that I am a kind of star musician or performer talking about the greatest hits from his repertoire. For your information let me clarify that the hits I am talking about here are hits in a literal sense. Yes you got that right- I am talking about the number of times I have been left holding the bulb (an idiom from Tamil courtesy comedian goundamani) and been humiliated in both public and private whoever I proposed to a girl. So just for illustration purposes (I am great believer in show and tell technique) shall we take a close look at what happened the last time I tried to propose to a girl?

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After much careful thought and after a deep examination of my heart I finally decided I am in love with this girl and wanted to tell it to her in person after taking her to watch a romantic movie and getting her in that receptive mood to accept my proposal – perfect planning right?.

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So this is what happened when I tried to express my love like a Jane Austen character (proud Mr. Darcy) and say to my current crush the following words

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 But this is how I finally ended up expressing it – as awkwardly as possible.

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So there I go, booking a nice romantic movie for my current crush, followed by an intimate romantic dinner where I am looking forward to propose and then what do I do?

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I end up concentrating more on the food than on the girl and end up completely forgetting to propose till I say good bye and am on my way home when I suddenly remember “oh shit….damn, damn, damn, I got a brain freeze”

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And then when I am with my crush I gaze lovingly at her face- cant tear my eyes off her and she goes and asks this

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Seriously can you believe this of me…am I not still a child at heart?

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 So I finally get home ruing the missed chance and in an effort to make amends and try to do the right thing at least before the day is over and she goes off to sleep- I pick up the phone and try to call her and propose but what happens? My luck holds and she doesn’t pick up the phone at all

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 After spending the next half hour calling her repeatedly, and wondering where she went off to after she left me and then when the call finally connects and I hurriedly start explaining how much I love her and why I feel I deserve her, she goes like

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And I am absolutely fazed like

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So after this latest episode of getting my hopes crushed I understand that when it comes to love- love and me- we never mix- I am always getting hit like

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And my brain keeps telling me this but does the stupid heart listen?

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And so when I finally post this whole story on my blog (on Facebook and on twitter) – I am like

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So from henceforth I am going to be like

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So till now I have been thinking that I am like Joey Tribiani from Friends saying “how ya doing?” and hitting on women effortlessly

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And now realize I am like Ross Geller- the one with ALL failed relationships and multiple divorces and who ends up his life being single despite being a good guy.

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 And that is my sorry saga told in a palatable way….now go away and leave me alone

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That Sphinx factor


 That Sphinx factor

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You know what they say about men never “get”ing women?  Lately I am finding it’s the cent per cent truth- atleat wher I am concerned. I am finding it far more difficult to understand what women mean when they speak or send me a message on chat or even when they just stay silent than say that I am in understanding how the big bang theory is reconcoled with the unified string theory. The older I grow the more convinced I am that I just don’t get women- no not at all- even after knowing someone for ages. I keep making blunders in conversations and chats and the only way I realize I have tripped up is when I see that little ticked arrow which shows – last seen at but not replied thingie. Lately I I keep thinking all the time “What is this girl saying? Why doesn’t she come out- right out and say it in simple english?” and then I realize its probably lost in translation- maybe she is saying it out loud- but I am tone deaf to her voice and the fault is in me. Or maybe not. Its all quite confusing.

The thing is, I don’t mean that I want to decipher the secret language of women or anything like that – that would be far beyond my limited mental capacity. I simply want to understand what it’s like to BE her as a person- to get to know her likes and dislikes and maybe even her moods (over the longterm). The fact that women end up being so remote and mysterious from us humble men makes us forget that they too are fellow human beings and have the same set of problems we face too on a daily basis. Women are probably afraid, scared, anxious, worried, depressed and go through all those emotional turmoils from time to time just like we do and in the end all they desire is to find happiness and avoid pain like all human beings do. That I get. But what I cant get is why they cant just come out and tell this straight out- instead of leaving me to blunder about blindly and trying to second guess what they mean with all their silences and smileys and emoticons and hmmm, hmmm’s.

I understand that women have their own feelings, thoughts and opinions which they are disinclined to share to anyone but themsleves but it boils down to trust . Trusting someone and sharing your thoughts with them may make the average women uncomfortable because of their vulnerability but if you want us to get you- you should consider doing this. Accept it from me that men are short sighted and cant really think long term.  If you want us to understand you- do please come forward and spell it out to us in single syllables – anything else is beyond our EQ levels. So do take pity on us poor men and say it out loud- in 3 feet words. Please. Pretty please.