Marry a Girl

Marry a Girl


After reading through a couple dozen blog posts on who to marry- they typically go like Marry a Writer, Marry a Reader, Marry a Doctor, Marry a Lawyer and many, many variations of these thereof, I decided to write my own version of who to marry.

So here are the top 5 reasons of why you should marry a – Girl

  • Marry a Girl- because she is a….. Well…. face it, of the opposite sex and made for, hmmm, uhhh, the, well…. the… you know, sex?
  • Marry a Girl- because we all (all men) need someone who can read fifty shades of expressions from our faces when we are capable of showing only one fixed expression for all situations.
  • Marry a Girl – because we need someone to make plans for us in our lives other than the standard pop onto the sofa with a bag of potato chips and watch the match, the post match commentary, highlights of the match and reruns of old matches- plans we have for our standard days.
  • Marry a Girl- because they are the only creatures capable of breaking through our manly reserves and emotional dryness and making us shed tears unabashedly….
  • Marry a Girl- because they are all sweet and cuddly and chocolaty and make our lives all bright and happy.

So, who needs any more labels than this?


Fools Advice…Wise Do

People who are married automatically assume that they are qualified to give singles advice on marital affairs..inspite of the fact that the singles maybe so much more cleverer and successful in life than the married idiots. Merely getting married does not qualify you as an expert in marital affairs- thats what paid counsellors are for. The reason I am delaying getting married is I am still searching for someone to choose who fits my requirements and I will do so – the minute that person turns up.

After getting a lot of unsolicited advice on what “kind” of girl to choose to marry….I am frankly fed up of all the people who tell me to marry ugly girls…Just because they have had the bad luck to end up with women who turn their stomachs, should I do too? Tell me the truth, would anyone marry an ugly person, if they had a better choice or option? willingly choose to commit suicide or what?

Am I not old enough to know what I want? to choose a life partner for myself? The only thing I want my wife to be is


That is my mantra for searching a bride….unfortunately no one (including my parents) understand this- they look for stuff like status, family background etc without taking into consideration that the secret of success in a marriage is sexual compatibility. If you cannot get a raise on seeing your wife- your marriage is doomed. All other things like education, job, horoscope match are absolutely of no interest to me.

Besides, I have everything else- money, status etc. All I want is a beautiful girl to spice up my life and make my blood heat-up….and I will give her everything she where can I find such a girl?

My Small. Small, wishes…..(Chinna, chinna asai…Chotti si asha)

Lots of people have lots of expectations when it comes to their marital lives and I am no exception to it. But, heres the caveat, my expectations are all quite small and remarkably silly- hope my future wife doesnt fall down with laughter on hearing about them…..

1) Bed Coffee/Good Morning- to be woken up early (not too early) on a sunday morning with a steaming cup of filter Coffee by my wife who has freshly showered and has her hair tied up and draped in a wet towel and smiling at me….(instead of screaming- are you still asleep when there is so much work to do?)

2) Sitting and watching an-ever running TV serial with my wife – on the rare day I am early at home- and discussing the story twists taking place in the serial over the past one year or so……just sitting and talking about useless stuff.

3) Morning when I am leaving for office- and I tell my wife to lock the door and I go out- she closes the door but still keeps a small crack open and leans there waiting and watching me till my car finally leaves- not banging the door in my face and saying good riddance/just go to office.

4) When she makes some special dish for me and serves me- she takes it up in her fingers and feeds it to me in my mouth (like for a child) despite my protestations of “thats enough, thats enough” – instead of saying come on get up- you have had enough and your tummy’s growing.

5) When I am worried and depressed and come over to the house in a despondent mood- she just takes my hand in hers and says – “whatever the problem, I am here with you, dont worry” – actually she doesnt have to say those words out loud, just a meaningful look would be enough.

I dont know how many of these i am actually gonna see happen in my life- but if i get an understanding wife – I might give her the link to this blog post and see if (after her initial hilarity) she might try and grant me one or two atleast of my small, small wishes. They might all seem silly to her- but if she loves me then she woudt mind doing a few sily things to please me – if thats what I want. Hope I get an understanding wife…

P.S. I do have some more ultimate fantasies (of marital life) -things involoving sleevless nighties and other X-rated stuff- but they are too personal to share on the Internet….they are only for my wife’s ears.

Friends Vs Family…….

Ok! Ok! It doesn’t have to be that way. I can hear the groans and objections. But this is a topic which has really come to my close and personal attention recently. Two different individuals with their name’s starting on P. and of different genders are the protagonists of todays post.

P-1: an average human being, a totally loyal friend but a recluse to other social relationships and sticks to, at the most, one or two close friends. But Post-marriage there is an instant make-over. Forgets everyone but his better half and is now totally obsessed with leading a “happy family life”.

P-2: an average human being, gregarious, verbose, with lots and lots of friends(& admirers)- preferably of the opposite sex. Post-commitment (in a marital relationship)- prefers to still hang out at parties and spend more time with old friends leading to an early and entirely avoidable break-up- with the long suffering partner. Friends remain- marital happiness/family life Gone.

My ADVICE (for what its worth):

P-1 is an easier case to cure – once he gets over the still continuing honey-moon obsession- is bound to return to the earth sooner or later. And you cant always keep obsessing about sex- you need other relationships too. So P-1 will very soon run out of topics to discuss with his new wife- having exhausted everything and come back to his friends. So hold on a little more guys. The guy after all is setting a good example- loving his wife more than any one else in this world- prefering her over his friends- for afterall she is gonna be there for him till the end of his life.

P-2’s is the more difficult case. First of all P-2 doens’t realize that what she is doing is even wrong. She keeps justfying that her friends are important. Yes. But family is always more important than friends. Infintely more important. Friends can forget you, avoid you, ditch you, get transferred out, change jobs, leave the city, anything. Family stays with you (no other option) always- same city, same house, same room. You can always make new friends – but the laws of this country makes it so much more difficult to get a new husband everytime you are dissatisfied with one.

More importantly- you can always say “NO” to a friend- if he calls you for a dinner date, or a movie or a vacation. There is no such friendship which exists where you say “how can i say No? he is such an old friend?” Precisely because he is such an old friend – he should realize he is old news and move away gently of his own accord. If he fails to do so but insists on contnuing his old and cozy relationship even after you get engaged/married- and insists on his rights to take you out whenever/wherever he wants- then it is a false friendship and he is definitely taking advantage of you(P-2) in the guise of friendship.

P-2 is stupid to sacrifice all family ties for a stupid old memory- of old college friendships. A lady should learn to say “NO”- to everyone including her friends. If not- you will be made a joke among the same friends- about what a girl of loose morals you are- if you always agree to their plans and are always available to them and never refuse them when they insist. How many men friends will you accomodate like this? And how can you blame the poor guy- your hubby- if he feels naturally jealous and possessive? will you let him go – if his old college girlfriends drop by suddenly into his office to pick him up and take him away to a late and intimate dinner party- right on your anniversary? Will you even then say that his (ex-girl)friends are more important than you- the wife?

My advice to P-2 would be to forget your friends wholesale- you can always make new and more interesting ones later- right now concentrate on your relationship and dont wreck it. Go to counselling with your partner and resolve the pending issues between you two- with a frank talk. Or take a vacation together- and before you go erase your address book or get a new SIM card. No friendship is worth the sacrifice of a stable and happy married life. You have got a whole life coming up for you stupid lady – dont waste it by living in the Past. Or else you should never have married- but continued to drink/party with your friends in beach resorts- till you get old & ugly/or your so-called friends marry and drop you themselves- whichever happens earlier.

I am going to send the link to this post to both of you- P-1 and P-2- you know who you are sweeties- both of you are dear to me. As a neutral observer and a True friend to you- I take the privilege of advising you both…bear with me.

To Wed or Not To Wed- That is the Question?!****

Ita been a long time since my last post and the fault lies soley with my tranquil mind till date – I was not experiencing any heady emotion to inspire me to rant on these pages. Enough said.

Now I’m going to try and use these pages to clear my mind of a particularly important dilemna I have been facing in the recent past – to wit – the change of my marital status. Trust me – I’m not inclined to either side yet and prefer to keep an open mind. So I’m going to discuss my options here – and if I’m a little brutal – please excuse …

PARENTAL ADVISORY – The following paras will contain words offensive to delicate-darlings who are requested not to proceed…

With that out of the way lets proceed…

Why should I marry? I’m going to list a few of the reasons society advances to men for getting married (as my friends keep reminding me). The list is not exhaustive , but I think I’ll discuss the least important stuff first (Sex & Food- are the topmost things in any guys mind) and go on to matters of increasing importance (like Love, Friendship, Companionship)….And i’m not gonna worry about being politically correct or being called a male-chauvinist or whatever- this stuff is gut-real, these questions are what goes through an average guy’s mind when he is selecting, what’s aptly called ” A Life Partner” (P.s.- you either mate for life or prepare to get killed is the code under which girls down south marry)

PRO: -Have someone to talk to in my old, old age. – I specifically dont mention hearing as I am well aware no wife hears her husband’s speech after the honeymoon period is over.

CON: – I’m not much of a talker even now – I rarely speak to anyone and prefer to communicate by SMS.

PRO: – Sex. Can have Free Safe Sex – any time in the confines of home.

CON: – Free? In my dreams – I will be paying with a lifetime of bondage, restricted options for browsing (with attached guilty feelings), explanations to offer every time I ogle a beautiful girl passing by, and as for any time sex- its simply not in my hands is it? there would be so many moody issues to confront…

PRO: – Food – specifically- healthy home cooked food.

CON: – Yah, as long as I cook it myself. Seriously of the Four Girls I have visited as part of my official sight-seeing delegation – Not One – has professed any talent/interest in cooking for me the rest of her life.

PRO:- Love, Friendship, Affection…

CON: – Hah! Hah! Seriously do I even have to reflect on this. I’d be a hopeless romantic if I expected any of the above from an arranged marriage – atleast not until we have lived together for atleast twenty years , when I’d recieve the familiar affection we often give to long-in-use heirlooms or family pets…

PRO: – Advisor, Counsellor, Guide and Friend – ARDHA-NARI Concept – Like Lord Shiva who shares everything equally with his Consort the Goddess Parvati..

CON: – While at it, why not I dream for a Lawyer, Doctor, Auditor and Finacial Consultant all rolled into one? Seriously, Girls these days are so into themselves that to ask for counsel(selfless) is to invite the reply – It’s your life, buddy, do what you want..Can’t expect my wife to advice/counsel me without being charged a hefty consultation fees.

And right now I’m running to a deadline because my parents have given me an ultimatum to decide on one of two options – they have given me as they seem fed up by my endless ditherings, doubts and postponements. Or else they threaten to withdraw from the deal entirely allowing me to go my own way and choose my own mate. Which is the worst possible scenario I can imagine.

For some reason, I am unable to explain, its been my fate to attract and date girls as far removed from me as possible – in nature, character and intelligence. They have been all, without exception, semi-starved, fashion conscious, stick-thin types with (in recent years) a preponderance of models and actresses among them (as I started moving in the golden circles of Chennai society) And as for me, I cannot for the life of me remember to differentiate a Gucci from a Prada and the only Diesel I’m in contact with is dispensed at the petrol pumps. Being with empty headed beauty babes has been fun but it has given me a decided distaste for the supposed bliss of marital life

So, to come back to my original question – Is it time to make a choice? To close my eyes, put my finger on a photo and marry that girl, whoever is it? Well, its action time in my life- as I’m on the verge of making my decision.

GOD HELP ME……( the writer of this blog has taken time out to go and vomit his guts out -will be back soon-hopefully). Adios