To Wed or Not To Wed- That is the Question?!****

Ita been a long time since my last post and the fault lies soley with my tranquil mind till date – I was not experiencing any heady emotion to inspire me to rant on these pages. Enough said.

Now I’m going to try and use these pages to clear my mind of a particularly important dilemna I have been facing in the recent past – to wit – the change of my marital status. Trust me – I’m not inclined to either side yet and prefer to keep an open mind. So I’m going to discuss my options here – and if I’m a little brutal – please excuse …

PARENTAL ADVISORY – The following paras will contain words offensive to delicate-darlings who are requested not to proceed…

With that out of the way lets proceed…

Why should I marry? I’m going to list a few of the reasons society advances to men for getting married (as my friends keep reminding me). The list is not exhaustive , but I think I’ll discuss the least important stuff first (Sex & Food- are the topmost things in any guys mind) and go on to matters of increasing importance (like Love, Friendship, Companionship)….And i’m not gonna worry about being politically correct or being called a male-chauvinist or whatever- this stuff is gut-real, these questions are what goes through an average guy’s mind when he is selecting, what’s aptly called ” A Life Partner” (P.s.- you either mate for life or prepare to get killed is the code under which girls down south marry)

PRO: -Have someone to talk to in my old, old age. – I specifically dont mention hearing as I am well aware no wife hears her husband’s speech after the honeymoon period is over.

CON: – I’m not much of a talker even now – I rarely speak to anyone and prefer to communicate by SMS.

PRO: – Sex. Can have Free Safe Sex – any time in the confines of home.

CON: – Free? In my dreams – I will be paying with a lifetime of bondage, restricted options for browsing (with attached guilty feelings), explanations to offer every time I ogle a beautiful girl passing by, and as for any time sex- its simply not in my hands is it? there would be so many moody issues to confront…

PRO: – Food – specifically- healthy home cooked food.

CON: – Yah, as long as I cook it myself. Seriously of the Four Girls I have visited as part of my official sight-seeing delegation – Not One – has professed any talent/interest in cooking for me the rest of her life.

PRO:- Love, Friendship, Affection…

CON: – Hah! Hah! Seriously do I even have to reflect on this. I’d be a hopeless romantic if I expected any of the above from an arranged marriage – atleast not until we have lived together for atleast twenty years , when I’d recieve the familiar affection we often give to long-in-use heirlooms or family pets…

PRO: – Advisor, Counsellor, Guide and Friend – ARDHA-NARI Concept – Like Lord Shiva who shares everything equally with his Consort the Goddess Parvati..

CON: – While at it, why not I dream for a Lawyer, Doctor, Auditor and Finacial Consultant all rolled into one? Seriously, Girls these days are so into themselves that to ask for counsel(selfless) is to invite the reply – It’s your life, buddy, do what you want..Can’t expect my wife to advice/counsel me without being charged a hefty consultation fees.

And right now I’m running to a deadline because my parents have given me an ultimatum to decide on one of two options – they have given me as they seem fed up by my endless ditherings, doubts and postponements. Or else they threaten to withdraw from the deal entirely allowing me to go my own way and choose my own mate. Which is the worst possible scenario I can imagine.

For some reason, I am unable to explain, its been my fate to attract and date girls as far removed from me as possible – in nature, character and intelligence. They have been all, without exception, semi-starved, fashion conscious, stick-thin types with (in recent years) a preponderance of models and actresses among them (as I started moving in the golden circles of Chennai society) And as for me, I cannot for the life of me remember to differentiate a Gucci from a Prada and the only Diesel I’m in contact with is dispensed at the petrol pumps. Being with empty headed beauty babes has been fun but it has given me a decided distaste for the supposed bliss of marital life

So, to come back to my original question – Is it time to make a choice? To close my eyes, put my finger on a photo and marry that girl, whoever is it? Well, its action time in my life- as I’m on the verge of making my decision.

GOD HELP ME……( the writer of this blog has taken time out to go and vomit his guts out -will be back soon-hopefully). Adios