Dumped? Here’s How To Get Over It…….
I have heard of March Madness, but May seems to affect people in Chennai peculiarly too. Is it the hot summer sun beaming directly on us? The so-called Angi-nakshatram? Whatever it is, i fear the effect is particularly malefic to relationships for there is a plague of break-ups all around. Every second blog you read is filled with long execrable poems to the one who got away, filled with lamentations on fate and vowing to not forget. And only yesterday a long lost (to contact) friend of mine called me up and enquired (demanded) why i am not coming to the gym regularly. I told him that on the few occasions i had been visiting the gym, he was off busy with this girlfriend and he had no right to take that tone with me. He laughed maniacally at that and said all that was over now and he was back to exercising again. When I probed delicately he said his love life was over, his girlfriend had broken up with him and left with nothing to do he was back to lifting weights at the gym. A sad and pathetic thing to do, exercise to forget, (as if a six pack will get back the girl) but not a very uncommon occurrence. But these people forget that there are lots of other things to do with life than mourn by writing verses which makes other cringe to read. As a neutral observer unaffected by all this, I take this opportunity to offer a few words of wisdom to those who have been recently dumped. Here goes my list of does and don’ts (follow at own risk).
A List Of Do’s…
1) Give yourself Space…if you have been dumped the first thing to clear your head is to give yourself space. For accept it, a loss is loss, even if it’s just the comfort of routine fights that you have lost. Sort through those feelings once, get rid of them forever and move on instead of hanging back at the same “loser’s” spot. Which brings me to my second piece of advice on sorting through those feelings, fresh as they are.
2) Let go of those feelings…Don’t go around toting that heavy emotional baggage from your failed relationship into your new single life. Most wise men agree that it’s quite common to sweep these emotions under the table, as we may feel we are not yet ready to face them head-on, but you have to grit your teeth and work through them or they’ll pollute your life from that point on. So go out there have a beer, have fun, do something prohibited and strut your stuff.
3) Start liking yourself first…I know it sounds cheesy and new agey, but the fact remains that many people feel a lot of self-rejection after getting dumped. You might feel that there must be something wrong with you to have been rejected so its time to start working on getting back your confidence and faith in yourself, to shake things up in your life, change the way you have always been and to try on a new lifestyle. Although in reality you might not be able to try whatever your fantasy is, there may be other changes to your life that are very much within your capacity to make. So don’t reject the idea of making any change, just because you can’t make every change you wish for. Even if you can’t become a hotshot pilot, you can at least date an air hostess. That will show your ex and make you feel all fuzzy inside.
4) Try being alone again…Being alone doesn’t mean isolating yourself and vowing never to have another relationship again. It just means not being in a rush to fall in love again, with the next pretty girl who comes along. Enjoy the single life for as long as it lasts for you might never get a chance again if you do end up getting married to the next person you fall in love with. So live the king sized bachelor life today. Go have a kingfisher beer and enjoy life like Sid Mallya (post DP)
5) Curse and Swear…. I leave you finally with the thought that whatever bad happens in your life- there is always someone else to blame it on and curse and rant. You dont need anyone’s approval for that, so curse on with all the swear words you ever heard in any language. That will help you recover faster than anything else.
And A List Of Donts…
1) Dont for heaven’s sake dump your troubles on your friends and force them to go to the gym with you. It’s you who needs a six pack to attract girls, not your friends- they have other things like their wits to assist in wooing.
2) Dont dig up old contacts misusing watsapp and keep pinging them all the time. Wataspp is for posting xxx jokes anonymously and not for reading instantaneous sob stories.
3) For heaven’s sake don’t lurk around online waiting for someone to log on to the internet and then bombard them with messages on face book messenger AND google talk simultaneously. Some people just log on to check their e-mail, they may not be willing to play agony aunt in the middle of the working day.
4) Don’t hit on your friend’s girlfriends. Don’t suddenly start noticing all those good qualities which were missing in your ex. And stop telling your friend how lucky he is – in front of his girlfriend
5) Finally – Lay off the poetry on your blog – don’t drive away the few, the dedicated few who turn up there regularly. Blog about something, anything except relationships and break ups. Be a man.
And finally, for further information of what will happen to you if you persist, please watch this video from the Tamil movie Polladhavan, starring Actors Dhanush and Karunas ….