(This Post contains Strong and Explicit content and is suitable only for Adult Readers and those above 18+ yrs…..)
Manoj is back in town. This is a warning to all right thinking person’s and a warning not to be taken easily. When Manoj comes back things happen and not ordinary things at that. For those who think I am exaggerating, please read on. I only learnt that he had got back when i got a text message that day from Manoj saying “Back in India”…that made me pause whatever I was doing and start thinking about taking precautions. “Back in India”? I mused, as usual he doesn’t mention from where he was back or how he had arrived. Had he been deported, having overstayed his welcome and had caused chaos and confusion in the visiting country? Escorted up to the tarmac by whatever country’s govt had got hold of him? Put on a nonstop plane and sent home to India? With Manoj that was very real possibility.
He could make things look so interesting to you that you only realized how idiotic the idea was long after he disappeared having left you to hold the can. It was time to make sure that you emptied your purse of all excess cash and debit cards and hide your passport somewhere (and forget where) because with Manoj around anything could happen. He could convince one that partying in Rio De Janeiro for the weekend would be a good idea and by the way why not touch down in Las Vegas for a day just to have some extra fun on the way to Rio. And you would be standing in the airport buying tickets on the first available plane to Rio via Vegas, having previously emptied your bank account of all your life’s savings, just to have a good time right now, until sense dawns, the spell gets broken and you head home thanking god for the narrow escape you just had. Manoj meanwhile would have just made that plane (even minus any luggage) and would be on his way to Vegas by the time you got back home and unlaced your shoes.
If you really think I am exaggerating Manoj’s many qualities please wait till I describe a small incident which occurred maybe two or three years ago. One night, late night, I got a call on my mobile. After letting in ring on, hoping it would cease by itself, I had to push myself out of the bed to the nearby table where I usually place my mobile at night. Eyes half closed I peered at the phone to see it was Manoj calling me at the unearthly hour of 1:30Am in the night. “What the F**?” I asked in my best unprintable language. Manoj totally unperturbed asked cheerfully “Hi dude, did I wake you up?” I bit back more unprintables and asked “Wassup?” he said “I need a favour dude, a big favour…I need your help right now”.
I immediately woke up, damn, maybe the guy was in some kind of genuine trouble….”Where are you Manoj? What happened? What do you want?” I asked in a concerned voice. He replied cheerfully “I am parked right below…in the parking lot of our apartment block and I need a special favour from you” I was perplexed for an instant, what was he doing in the underground car park? Had he lost his keys or something and needed a place to crash for the night? His mom would be home as far as I knew and wouldn’t mind opening the door for him however late he turned up- as he usually did… “Dude, are you still there?” he was asking “I need you to come down right now to our parking lot and help me zip up this jeans”…
I thought I had misheard him in my sleepy state “Zip up your jeans? Why should I do it? I don’t get it, we aren’t that kind of friends man…?” Manoj in a unnaturally cheerful voice for that time of the morning replied “Not mine,,, you see there is this girl sitting in the car with me here who works in my company and we were out clubbing earlier tonight at Pasha and she had too much to drink or something and she cant keep her drink and went very tipsy and started acting strange and wanted to leave there immediately- too early to go home you know and so we came out here to our car-park to make out, because our watchman would be asleep and it is safe here- no trouble from police or anything and we were making out for some time now and I got her jeans unbuttoned when we were groping around but now I am unable to button it back on.”
I almost screamed “why cant that damn b*** button herself up?” Manoj explained “oh…told you dude…she had too much to drink -she is out for the night, and she is wearing this skinny jean thing..wonder how she got into it earlier on…must have pulled her tummy in and held her breath very tightly or something..otherwise it is so tight- there is a clear 3 inch gap between the stud and the catch” “hold on” I paused him in full flow “what exactly do you want me to come downstairs for?” Manoj in his easy going manner explained “Easy dude, I just want you to push her stomach in and hold it inside, compressing it, while I somehow button up her jean and zip it up..that way I can take her back home and leave her with her parents. Otherwise she will get it hot from her parents if she came home unbuttoned and unzipped. After all,” he said reasonably, “isn’t it fair and just to put back something we have removed? and she is such a nice girl and I don’t want her to get into any trouble and also this way I can also go partingy with her again in the future”
I must have nodded off again somewhere in the middle of this long explanation and suddenly woke up with a start when he went silent “ Dude” I said in my most reasonable and adult voice, “My dad would skin me alive if he ever found out I was sneaking out of the house at 2 in the morning just to zip up a girl someone else had unzipped…I just went to sleep half an hour or so ago and have set the alarm to wake me up at 4:30am again to study for an upcoming exam, I am sleepy, I am irritable and I am not an expert on jeans or buttons..so the best thing for you to do would be to call our friend Bala in the third floor, as I recall he is alone at home this week and even if not, he would be glad to volunteer for such an arduous duty, count me out dude, sorry but I am not coming down right now to push some girls stomach in..gotta go to sleep..tell me tomorrow all about it” I said as I cut the connection and went back to sleep. Of course I heard the full story of what happened later on from Bala, but that is for another day.
The point is Manoj was back in town and who knew what he might attempt next? Whatever was going to happen to me when he turned up to meet me…..read on in the next part.