Reader Discretion Advised: This post will be a Sexist, intolerant, rant of deeply personal feelings and if you are prepared to read about another Shallow Hall- go on…
Changing the finish line….just when you are about to cross it. Yep! thats exactly how i feel – given the lemon’s life has given me…and please dont tell me to make lemonade with them- i hate it. Anyway to get back to the title- it refers to the on-going (ever-lasting?) search for my perfect bride.
Long, long ago, back when I was in college and looking like an awkaward geek (still am, by the way) I used to burn with envy at the coole dudes picking up all the good-looking dames on campus and just leaving us the crumbs…which out of principle (or sheer pique) I refused to partake of. A wise(?) old friend, a senior, took me aside and told me the “SECRET” to get a mind-blowing girl in my life.
The only way, he said, that guys like us can end up with the pick of the crop, is to study well, work hard, get an awesome job, makes lottsa money and then let our parents use our newly-acquired status and assets to buy us the best-looking model on display which we fancy.(P.S- we are talking about girls here- not cars). Those fancy studs woo these stupid girls, have a relationship (exploit them) and finally ditch them. Voila, they see sense and finally end up marrying someone like us for the safety, security and status- was what was drilled into my head by all those senior students at college who formed an Anti-love clique which openly dissuaded (with threats) people who tried to hook up with each other.
I took it all to heart – as I found it all eminently sensible- there was I knew, no way I could ever on my own (with my non-existent good-looks)- land a girl who was even half-way interesting or for that matter good-looking. I would have to buy them in the arranged marriage market through my position and financial power. And so at quite a young age (my teenage years- when everyone else around me was dating, except me) I gave up all hopes of love (or even looking at random girls) girded my loins, went to work- studied hard, worked hard, earned hard, saved hard- to achieve everything on the list marked above. And now when i finally stand back and look at what i have achieved- its time to pat myself on the back and say- Job well done. But here’s the snag.
Now that I am well educated, well setled, well earning and have asked my parents to find me a girl- they seem to specialize in bringing to my approval – the very crumbs that no one (even I) used to reject at college. Again and again they seem to bring up proposals for the left-overs. Is this what I slaved all those late-nights for, sacrificed all thos years of not watching films (I love fims) for? Cant I….(change to) “Shouldnt” I get a goo-looking girl? Dont iI deserve one? after all these years of working my butt off, living like a monk (to get a good character- for the marriage market), never wavering or losing concentration and after finally achieving a substantial status in life cant I/dont I deserve even a marginally good looking girl? someone i can flaunt to the world and say- look, I am not a loser..dont you see this good-looking girl on my arm? I have arrived….
Call me Shallow Hall if you wish- I am not at all interested in “inner beauty”- i want only external beauty- as compensation for all those years of bloody hard work- And now i feel cheated of my prize – just when i am about to cross the finish line…whose fault is it? My parents? Fate? or those bloody Seniors at college?
Whose? Who should i blame?