This post will not involve any high-brow philosophical stuff but mundane matters like my sex life- or to be precise my non eistent sex life. I am going to have another birthday soon and am quite afraid that I will end up being India’s only remaining virgin. If you think there cant be anything more pathetic then being a 35-yr old virgin – it is being constantly questioned whether my tastes lie in a different direction and being hit upon by gay men. Yuck. Just because I am not getting any action at all doesnt mean I am handicapped. Wait that didnt come out right. To re-phrase it again. Just beacuse I am starving(as no one has invited me to dinner) doesnt mean I would eat out of others plates. Getttit?
So, I am hanging in there, hope hanging by a slender thread, waiting for the magic night when I can make love to my wife..oh yeah! I hear all of you snigger…get real dude- aren’t you making a mountain of a mole-hill? I beg to differ. There is a enormous difference between having sex and making love….(Source-all the great literature of the world). If you do it wife your legitimate wife after your wedding in the full knowledge that you are both affectionate towards each other- then it is called “making love”. Anything else is just sex. I may be a philistine in such things….but sexual morals do matter to me.
So, here am I….just hanging on to my virginity, day by damn day- hoping something’s gotta give soon- my luck will change and I will finally get the presure off my back. And till then I survive by mans greatest invention of all time- masturbation. Which is allowed – legally, morally and religiously, I believe. And if that wasnt allowed – men everywhere would go mad. After all we are all human beings with normal human emotions and feeling aren’t we? so I survive- on a daily basis with just hope.
So, here’s to me……hope I lose this damn status soon….pray for me.