Ok, Here is the Good News First… Those Thirty Kilo’s I lost over the better part of last year are still not back.. They are keeping their distance staring like hungry wolves itching to get back at me.. But I have not lost anything in recent times- maybe because I am finally indulging my craving for all my self-denial last year?… I must have hit a “Plateau” the size of Tibet as the Weighing Scales resolutely refuse to go down any further – and every little bit of my fat is hanging onto me like needy blood relatives – which in a sense they probably are..
To start from the beginning – for those who came in late and missed the first half:- The hospital where I report for work (occasionally) had bought a new machine – to check whats called the cardio-vascular status – and when I had gone to chat with my friend who was in charge of the ward – he playfully suggested that I inaugrate the machine by getting hooked-up to it first- unofficially, of course. In a rare unguarded moment of weakness I assented and when the results showed on the monitor – I (and my friend), had a nasty shock- my insides were labouring under overloading conditions. Before my friend could offer his expert analysis (and unwanted advice) – I tactfully escaped and went away to brood over it alone like a modern Hamlet – To Do or not to Do?. The conclusions were inescapable – I needed more exercise – my weekly quota of self adminstered hand jobs -did not suffice.
So, over the next few days I started a crash- diet program and went & joined a Gym – Fitness One in Kilpauk – to which I made the customary weekly visit – to console my conscience (still losing sleep over the steep membership fee) that I was in fact exercising… But the semi- starvation diet – water, water and more water – whenever I felt hungry (with occasional gorging on Pizza or Samosa – whenever I relapsed)- seemed to have worked wonders – I was losing the equivalent of 3-4 kilos a month without any heavy physical activity (except using the TV remote). After a few months my gym trainer who attributed all my rapid weight loss to his exceptional training methods – entered my name (without consulting me) into a Triathlon race- involving 3 different events -running, cycling, and cross-trainer – to be done continously on the same day….What? Do I look like a fool?- was my first reaction – but on being assured that I could drop out anytime-I agreed to grace the event with my presence…..
Oh!, If only I had known – the extreme fatigue and pain involved – I wouldnt have gone near the gym even if they had arranged naked cheer-girls for the event. But unfortunately I presented myself for the event – and I was put on a treadmill and told to run. After 3 minutes I was just about ready to give up and go home and take rest for a week – when on the treadmill beside me an old man (40? 45)?) started his run and he gave me a look full of pity at my panting. Now – if there is one thing I hate – it is being patronized – and my blood boiling with rage- I decided to finish the triathlon if it killed me – and it very nearly did too – for in the last event when I felt a twinge near my chest – I imagined having a heart -attack and very nearly fell of the machine. Suffice it to say – that by the time I had finished all three events – I was in a zone of my own – it was like taking half a dozen shots of vodka in one swig. The thing that i had always fantazised about -whenever I read about it – no, not the big “O”- The “Endorphin” thing – thats what had hit me – my brain felt clearer than in years – there were multicoloured lights floating in front of my eyes and I felt like – I was 12 feet tall..
So, like every addict – I kept trying to re-experience that incredible first effect again and again. I ran and ran – joined aerobics classes, then joined dance classes, then did both classes continuosly till I was a walking cripple on my way back home from the gym – to try and experience that endorphin high again. But sorry to say – except for that near-death experience my first time – I have not experienced that Agony & Exstasy again. Meanwhile – my weight kept dropping down until – on New Years Day this Year – I was 30 Kilos lighter compared to last year. And now starts part Two – The Tragedy.
The current rage being ” Fab Abs” – I reasoned – now that I was back looking like a member of the human race – why not go the whole hog? and get a, what they call, “A Body to Die For?” So for the past 3 months I have being slogging my butt out in the Gym – lifting big and bigger (impossibly looking) weights- trying to get well proportioned muscles and a chiseled body . I have even joined a kick boxing class to try and lose all my aggro in a non-injurious way – but to no avail. The muscles have not developed – my weight is stubbornly clinging on at current levels- and kicking others in the face is not exactly my idea of fun – I am more the sarcastic remark type. So – I figure my body has at last called a halt to the whole fitness issue and taken a break – maybe I should do so too…….