Not being much of a social type – I have never felt the need to be a member of any social network grouping or to “network” desperately – until I reached a phase of my life recently where I found I had more time on my hands than good for me – when in a moment of weakness I accepted an invitation to join that paragon of networking “Orkut” – interesting name – especially when you consider the fact that with a name like mine you can be sure of meeting half-a-dozen namesakes -whenever/wherever. Over the past 6 months not only have I enjoyed using it to connect with like-minded people – I have also run into a few people I’d rather not have remembered.
Which brings me back to the title of this current blog. I mean – people lie in real life – that’s true and accepted – but the way that people lie online is astonishing..especially considering the anoymity of the web as a medium means you just dont have to do it- you can be yourself- safely. But not many people get it. The kind of fun I have when I read through all the high sounding, presumptous drivel written by people on their Orkut Profiles makes me roll about in mirth…I mean do people honestly believe that other people who glance through their profiles will be impressed with their persona’s? or is to get a sort of vicarious pleasure – this is who I want to/can be – but am not in real life? And they keep changing every other week – evolving in their virtual life so to say – faster than they can in the real world.
For example one of these virtual deja-vu meetings of my life took place recently when on logging into orkut – I was notified that my “Recent Visitors” included a denizen of hell – my former girlfriend – the one and only V-(for Vixen not vendetta)- my first ever from so long ago who taught me all I know about the bees and birds (just the theory-no demo) someone who I thought I had succesfully escaped and who I would never see again until I looked down from heaven to watch the group activities being conducted downstairs in hell. But its true – The devil looks after its own – she has not only survived cheating on all her boyfriends (serially and parallely) but has actually thrived – marrying a nincompoop and emigrating to the modern-day whore of Babylon -New York city. On her profile on Orkut – she describes herself as married with kids and as a “Paragon of virtue”. I literally fell out of the chair with bellyache – I mean – I may be biased but on the other hand I could name half a dozen other guys who would agree wth me that the only mistake they made in their lives was mistaking that Long Legs = Good for Dating – before they realized their mistake and ran for cover from the “Bitch from Hell” which was her universal nickname in college – the only decent one I can use here – this Blog being meant for family audiences and PG-13 rated…..Is she the only one who Parades as a Paragon of Virtue in the Virtual world while leading a life of Vice in the real world? Somehow I don’t think so….
Let me illustrate with another example.. There is this guy I met on one of the communities and made friends online – real cool guy name of C- who describes in his profile his various accomplishments as reported on newspaper headlines. I mean if you just read the profile – you’d think here is someone who’s idea of success – is to see his name in print? (how pathetic!) but once you actually start scrapping him you realize its just a stunt he’s trying to pull (shock and awe tactics? – courtesy George Dubya Bush) . Well, to be fair – the guy’s pretty young – still in his teens I believe – he’d probably outgrow his obsession with public popularity ( I mean he must be really popular/notorius in college if he keeps pulling stunts like this in real life) and he will probably know that the tall trees are the first ones to be cut down in real life…
And there is this other guy- again an Orkut friend – lets call him S- who is obsessed with double meaning, sexually related Slogans for his second name. If the guy keeps doing that – it makes you wonder if at all he is getting any action? – must be pretty desperate to advertise like this – again another young guy -who’d probably outgrow the teen sex movie phase….
If I continue this way, I’d probably have to change the title of this Blog to “Weird people I met on Orkut” Anyhow I am going to conclude with the wierdest of them all – ME. I don’t want to throw the first stone -but remember that thing about people who live in glass houses?..I mean anyone who reads my profile will think I’m some kind of up-standing, hard-working, go-getting individual – an upright pillar of the society so to say. Which is patently untrue. All I am is a hypocritical lazy layabout with more time than ideas to fill them spouting all sorts of psycho-babble crap in the name of analysing others..Fair?