An Impossible Situation


How do you add insult to injury? Well I was at the recieving end of one of those recently when I was handed over an invite to a very posh, very exclusive pool-side party and advised to turn up with a date. For one thing, I don’t (not for anytime in the recent past) have a girl-friend and I wouldn’t recognize a date if I tripped over one and fell on it. And for another, the offending party who thought he was doing me a good turn – politely mentioned that I fit their average profile for the party guests – meaning he assumed I was a High Flying, High living debonair bon vivant (what a pity) and hoped that I and my date for the evening whoever she might be will be well pleased with his hospitality (anymore of this sugary speech- and I’d have diabetes) and that kick-started my Mission Impossible – to hook up with someone before Saturday night – in 3 days time. So, like Tom Cruise, I kicked off in high tempo – I made a list of the girls who would fit in a posh set-up and more importantly who’d be willing to do a one-off with me. By the time I’d eliminated all the impossible and the mad hatter types , I was left with one posssibility only and I didn’t dare call her up and remind her again of my existence which for the sake of peace all around it was best that stus-quo remained. So in desperation , I hung around the RMO’s office in the morning during attendance time to Suspect-Profile like the FBI does – to identify potential victims who could be tempted to fall for me. Having failed miserbly even in that, by now I was getting so desperate, I even, Oh My God, started a conversation with the girl working out at the treadmill beside me on the gym – a nice north-east type. Halfway through it hit me – that I really was sinking in to the pits – and then and there I decided to go out there like a man (without a date) and take it on the chin.

Saturday seemed to hurry up and I was still unable to take a final decision. But I steeled myself and went over anyway. Crossing that threshold expecting to be laughed at and shamed off the premises was one of the bravest things I’d done in recent times. And you know what – when I really got over my embarassment and that humiliated feeling one gets in attending a party without a date – I really enjoyed myself looking around. The party Sucked, Majorly, as the DJ was just playing some soft romantic tracks. All the couples were drifting into the corners for a little tete-a-tete and some smooching. No one hit the dance floor and no one, even fell into the pool. For a poolside party – thats a “Major catastrophe” – especially when there was no wet T-shirt games. Someone pointed out a short dumpy woman standing off in a corner and said she was a film actress called Sneha and offered to introduce me – but I refused as what the hell would I talk to her – I mean we are from different worlds and I was enjoying this voyeuristic foray into the glam world. All in all , I wasn’t regretting this chance to experience life on the other side and the lesson I learnt from this is to have a social life you need to be prepared to take the minor embarassment’s in your stride and nothing is as bad as it seems at first. And oh yeah, it helps to have a steady girlfriend or a wife if you wanna do this regularly….

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